In search of my thoughts...

So here is the thing about living in the same place for more than a year and not moving around… shit builds up! Normally I just go through the standard clean out my house when I move thing, but I am reaching 2 years in my apartment, and my big ass closet has already exploded about 20 times. Monday night I spent so much time folding laundry and then not having a place to put it because I have too many clothes. In addition, I acquired some much needed camping gear that I now need a space for. David even mentioned last night how he thinks this is the first time he could walk into my closet and not feel like something is going to crash on him. We’ve only been dating for 7 months!

This is a problem.

Enter me this morning into my therapist’s office. We talked about things and while the purpose of me going there has passed, I really need some help in the motivation department when it comes to the vicious cycle of me being tired and therefore not exercising, and blah blah blah. Honestly I need someone who is going to kick me in the butt and call me on my bullshit. She does it (and does it really well). So now I am no longer seeing a therapist, but rather a life coach. Or at least someone who knows me well enough to know how to get me to do what I really need to do in order to get the transformation that I so want and need.

How do the two relate? They really don’t. What I realized this morning is Lisa (my therapist) is giving me new tools I need to get motivated to live a healthier lifestyle. It isn’t too difficult, considering I am already eating pretty well, and when I eat a lot of carbs I am not a happy camper because I am super full and pretty much want to shoot myself. She is opening up my eyes at the things I want to overlook.

So now I have a plan…

I am willing to feel energized. That is my ultimate life goal. With that comes feeling good about myself, being positive, and sassy (my new favorite word at the moment). To this I must take the steps in order to feel energized, like getting enough sleep, healthy eating, and exercise. And within there I have steps I need to take in order to achieve this. I also have the steps/tasks that will help me recognize I am starting to drown. And I also have a reward set up to keep the eye on the prize.

So what is this current reward? Well if I can stay motivated for a week, I can finally buy that iPad I have been drooling over for the last month or so. If I can stay motivated for the month? I get to put the couch/chair set I want from Macy’s on the card.

And this is how my closet is tying into my motivation. Well first and foremost, I need to take back my space. So I’ve made a list (thanks to my friend Kati’s post) breaking up the different sections that desperately need to be de-cluttered. I’m calling the list “Cleanout 2011.” Here is the breakdown:

Cleanout 2011
1. Big Ass Closet
2. Little Ass Closet
3. Junk Drawer in the Kitchen
4. Coffee Table (believe me, if you saw it you would understand)
5. Bedside Table (again, trust me)
6. Bookshelf
7. TV Stand bookshelf 
8. DVD Bookshelf
9. Bathroom Cabinets
10. Pantry
11. Fridge (ok truth be told, I just did this one recently, but I am still putting it on the list)
12. Drawers with utensils and cupboard with pots/pans (that one is going to be the most interesting)
13. Cupboard under kitchen sink (aka the epic battle with the housecleaner)
14. Nook next to oven (bags galore)
15. Tupperware/Dishes Cupboard

The main goal with this is to break it up so it doesn’t feel so daunting. Probably over the course of a couple of months. A lot of this stuff is just going to go away because I dont use it/wear it/watch it/read it/need it. Simple is better! Once I have a bag ready to go, it is going in my car trunk and over to goodwill/crossroads/green apple books/whoever else wants my crap. Seriously if you want something give me a hollar.

Once everything is organized, then I can get to the fun projects like putting photos and posters up, a indoor garden in the kitchen, and overall a kick ass studio space that I love. Of course I will probably blog about the cleanup on here just for kicks and giggles. Just don’t judge me.

Two very different things, but one big goal, an energized Diana that is happy and healthy. 

Most people say this, but for me, at this time, and this moment, it is 100% true. I am putting myself on a diet. 

First and foremost, I need to lose the weight. I know this. Part of the problem is I am a big stress eater. Even when I was a kid I would binge eat to make myself feel better, but never knew it was a problem because I was playing year round volleyball, working out 2-3 hours everyday, sometime more (all day tournaments). 

I have tried to lose the weight in the past, but I would always gain. I was doing really well about a year ago until I broke my foot and I never got back into my groove, which has been extremely frustrating. Then in February, I hit my biggest wall, and became so exhausted I haven’t been able to do anything.

So why now? Well first and foremost, I am in the middle of a staycation, and in the transition of a new job and with so many changes going on, this is something I can easily get myself into before the job starts. Second, I am currently in a sleep study, to see how I can improve my sleep. Lastly, I am seeing a nutritionist, who is giving me the tools I need to move forward. David is being super supportive, and with this, everything feels right to move forward.

The diet my nutritionist has me on is pretty simple. I need to reduce the amount of carbs I eat to 50g per meal. What she is trying to do is to not release so much insulin, which is what happens when I eat carbs, and focus more on eating alternative foods so my body grabs the stored fat and reduces my weight. At this point it seems pretty simple. I had a huge breakfast this morning ad my carb intake was 34g. I just need to make the right choices.

In addition to this, my nutritionist is asking me to walk 30 minutes per day. I am hoping I can actually start doing more than that (like running), but keeping that in mind it seems like a minimalistic adjustment, which is something I know I can do. The other thing is this is more of a lifestyle transition rather than a diet. Sure I can have those moments where I have a couple glasses of wine or those cookies once in a while. I just can’t do this all the time, which is fine with me anyways because I am not a fan of drinking all the time or eating sweets.

So here is to hoping. I just hope things will get easier as the week goes on and by the time I start my new job next week, it is a comfortable transition.